...yesterday's Roar was great.. with the whole Save the Humans talk thing, that was great. it made me think about how the world needs saving, how many people have lost souls that are just waiting to be extinguished, if we as christians don't extend the hand that leads them to eternal salvation... sigh it's hard though, eh. ah well trying is never a failure.
anyway. did anyone hear of my newfound resolution (though i'm kinda late, if it's for chinese new yr)? i'm gonna be anti-vague! especially in my posts. well for now at least. haha. ((: ..yesterday (fri) was highly slack, as we all know student development days are. Groan. how does a maths workshop, career video and eportfolio-making sound to you? Oh-so-terribly fun, isn't it. *cough* nothing particularly amusing there, apart from the fact that we watched a shakespeare video (taming of the shrew, whee haha) & moved tables from B block to the YDC (yes, all of them) & i got extremely startled by sam's yelling-into-my-ear-to-make-me-freak-out tactic. Yeah, that was basically about it for yesterday. ..in the transition of fri to sat (around 12+am) i woke up suddenly and a whole lot of memories of mgs and ccmc and singapore started pouring into my head and yknow, when memories start pouring into your head like that you can't help but lose a few tears. well, more than that actually. sighh. i ended up writing in my diary till about 1-2 am. And here I am, starting to feel it again, to feel the pulse of sadness trickle into the crevices of my heart. Scenes from mgs, my home for seven years, are flashing by at a crazy pace. I've caught glimpses of the sec 1 camp, note-passing, laughing at lame private jokes, getting killed by mrs ong for playing that locking-each-other-out-of-class game, Making The Grade, the P4 elements, the scrabble club (:, canteen nasi briyani, 2 months in clementi, the trusty mg shorts.... AGH i'm gonna self-combust about now. spontaneously. BOOM. ...but even explosions can't cure emptiness, can it. Not really. That emptiness will start to hang over you like a dead shadow, limp and weary but still clinging on, feeding on the painful memories that lie in fragments like a broken glass. Okay i'm going to stop being / sounding weird now. oh dear it's 1:26pm now, i'm doomed if i don't go to sleep cos there's church tomor--- today.. yawn i'm gonna go to sleep and forget about all this. I hope things in singapore have been well.. i miss singapore. or did i already say that? Oh well you can't really get tired of saying that you miss the very place you've been for your whole darned life, only to leave it to go to perth and still feel occasionally miserable and sad. not that anything's really bad about perth or anything; everything's allright &---- oh crud mom = yelling = i'm dead seeya>
Posted by don'tbestupid at 1:15 AM
Friday, September 16, 2005
explicit
what why how ..i don't understand when who ..i still don't and where is the key?
unlock the gate with the key ring the bell with the voice open the door with the hand peer inside with the eye no one home back outside in the rain; square 1,try again . ..and that's all i want to say. for now. sorry if this post has disturbed you in a weird, minimalistic way.
Posted by don'tbestupid at 6:47 PM
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
be my escape
..that's a song by Relient K, by the way. Be My Escape.
I'm in a weird mood today. You can sort of tell, by the way I'm using this font, when I usually use those crisp simple fonts. Well i'll tell you, I'm feeling complicated today. Hence the Times New Romans. ...This will not be a humorous post. It is going to be a dark, gloomy, vague sort of post, with no frivolous spelling mistakes, colloquial language, and the like. For once in my life, I am going to be SERIOUS. * By the way, those people out there having intensely queer sort of moods, please listen to: 1. the abovementioned song, Be My Escape. 2. 24 by Jem. [love the violin] 3. Clarity by John Meyer. [the best easy-listening song alive] 4. Gifts and Curses by Yellowcard (spiderman 2 soundtrack). 5. Fly Away by Corrine May. *
...The road we're all heading, it all leads somewhere, does it not. No road is a dead end. Well not a real dead end anyway. Some thorny bushes or smog or something, hindering the way, but it's just a matter of getting through it. Yes, simple as that. ..then here I am wondering why life doesn't feel as easy as it sounds. How odd is that. Very, I should say. But I shan't get into that whole conscience talk again (refer to previous post). Anyhow. My road is covered in quite a bit of debris that mainly consists of homework, school, matters of the mind, matters of the heart, matters of the stomach,thoughts of singapore, tragic reminiscence, etcetera etcetera. You get the idea. ...sigh folks I think i'm going to sleep now, it's 12 plus and it's in the middle of the week (tues to be exact) (no it's wed now, since it's past midnight). Sorry if i've inflicted any emotional anguish of any sort on the reader of this post, I know it sounds dreadfully blagh and very unlike me. Hm actually I'm not that now, it always helps to talk about problems. Even if it's on a blog. And even if i'm being very very vague about it. Well whoever catches my drift, catches my drift, and whoever doesn't, well try to. No on the other hand, don't try to. Really. Ok i'm going to drop dead now due to lack of sleep so yeah, seeya. ~ ame .
Posted by don'tbestupid at 12:15 AM
Sunday, September 11, 2005
at lasttttt, a post. (:
haha hey folks. Yesyes, long time no blog, we all know that don't we. haha. I couldn't access ANYTHING for blogger since, oh i don't know, the stone age, maybe. Ah well all that's a thing of the past since i'm here now and that's all that counts. (: SO. it's been a month! haha and today is sept. 11, so i'll just give my regards to America for one solemn minute.
. . .
...k haha so how's everyone been going along with their own lives? (; i miss you guys a lot a lot a lot. Lots, in fact. haha... coming back on the 24th! ...ack, lots of things have been happening, haven't they.. especially in church!! haha everything only starts happening when i'm gone, it's quite depressing. x) ah well, keep me updated, ain't wanna live in the pasttt! (listening to Corrine May's songs now >> yes je they're nice songs! haha i still can't access her site though, you need the darned flash thing and i haven't exactly any time to download it) ..things here have been allright so far, though there have been some anticipated disappointments and tragic moments. Coughhhh, to people who actually comprehend what i'm talking about.. should i try to salvage the situation or leave it? sigh. it's not a 'why' question, it's a 'how' question. haha don't mind me, i'm getting into one of those metaphorical rubbishy moods now, someone give me panadol or something (like that helps anyway). aaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (releases tension)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH i've just committed one of the worst mistakes in my life. ah well. it's bound to be disastrous anyway. hm ok now it's not that bad. i hope not. haha. don't mind my rambling, whoever's reading this, i'm just going on and on about weird things that don't make sense half the time. If anyone wants to waste 10 minutes reading someone's absurdly vague train of thought, come to my blog. haha.. hey it's not cold now. amazing. it was pretty much freezing yesterday, though winter's supposed to be ending and spring's supposed to be coming out nowww. COME OUT, SPRING. (pause) Okay, it needs more time. haha. so yeah i hope the darned pollen will stay away from me and don't get me into sneezing fits or whatever you get when pollen comes afloating past your nose. haatchooo.. or is it hachoo? or ha---ha----ha----CHOOO--OOOPS I JUST REMEMBERED I GOT HOMEWORK. that's (unfortunately) due tomorrow. how sad is that. (very sad) (ok that's my conscience talking) (hi conscience) (hi) (oh heavens i have a feeling i'm going high) (yes that's right) (you agree with me, conscience?) (yes I do) (oh ok) (ok) (uh conscience?) (yes) (i think you have to go now cos i wanna finish up this post) (aw well whoever's reading this, hi i'm amelyn's conscience) (er) (ok ok i'm going) (ok me too then) (ok see ya folks!) (yeah seeya! let's go, conscience.) (ok) (ok) *end of weird weird talking-to-conscience conversation* >>>note: none of ame's brain cells were atually killed by any form of mental disease in the making of this post.