Why does this happen? Why do some friendships live beneath such crashing waves? ..the other side of some are beginning to show. But is it their real side? I really dunno. And I can tell you, it isn't easy. It's sad. Very sad, sometimes. To see things you've been so familiar with for years, come crumbling down like it was never strongheld in the first place. ..In retrospect, time doesn't really count when it comes to building social issues. right? I don't really understand all these things that others are saying, all this come-and-go, all this talk and rumours and lies and argument. Someone should just pull the plug and let this world go dark. But then there's always the silver lining, right. It's bound to be there somewhere, buried in that lot of deep dark anguish. Those are what people live for. what I live for. But then to get to this hope, it's the pits till then. A hard journey, it is. Real tough. And sometimes you wonder if you're ever gonna make it through, cos everything suddenly just doesn't seem right. Seriously. And that's the part I don't understand; when you're almost there and reaching for the reward, your lose your ground and you fall to the bottom. I really don't get how that works, how you try your hardest to keep everything together while everyone else seems like they don't care about the sentimental values in life. I really don't get that. Or am I the only one in this lost world that actually thinks of these sorta things. Yknow, maybe it's just me, being too paranoid, sensitive, sentimental and depressed. Or maybe it's reality. Which is the hardest part to accept, really. When I came back, everything seemed different. Some others still stayed with the same familiarity from when I first knew them and all that, which is a comfort. Really, i'm glad that we still have that, even though I come back like only about 3-4 times a yr. I really appreciate that, thanks guys. But yknow. Things don't stay the same forever. They've gotta change, even if it's worse for me, or anyone else for that matter. It's just unsettling to find that it happens really fast, too soon for me to keep track of what to hold on to and what to let go of. This complicating world is sometimes maybe too much for me to handle. But i'll keep going, for the sake of that silver lining. And God, of course. Will just be counting the little things. (((; ---ame.